母亲

在谈论鸟类和蜜蜂方面，大多数父母都可以达成一件事：灌输你的孩子，以健康的性感感到重要。当然，与你的孩子谈论性爱可能是尴尬的，这就是为什么我们敲击了性治疗师伊丽莎白McGrath.帮助引导方式。“孩子们对性欲的第一条主要信息来自成年人，主要是他们的父母，监护人和照顾者，”麦格拉特解释道。如果这些消息被笼罩在不赞成或耻辱中，它可能导致持久性问题。无论您是旨在提高“性阳性”的孩子，或者只是一个高度开放程度的家庭，这些提示都是饲养员。

看着你自己的性行为。在与您的孩子谈论主题之前，重要的是评估自己与性的关系。“我们有一个很棒的机会，帮助我们的孩子仍然摆脱羞耻，因为他们可以从童年和成人的生活中享受。这一过程通过看着我们对性欲的一些感受 - 我们的恐惧，我们的自我判断 - 以及看他们如何影响我们对性质的性对话，问题和事物的反应，这将会提出你的孩子，“解释了McGrath。“我们如何承认让我们紧张，感到紧张，感到尴尬或不舒服的事情，或者我们觉得的东西是可耻的，而不会让那个是我们沟通给我们的孩子的直接方式？它可以令人生畏花时间思考和感受到我们自己的性别的东西，但是通过这样做，我们有机会认识到我们的孩子很少的空白板岩，寻求我们答案和吸收我们的感受和反应。“

谈论私人部分。性爱的第一次机会之一？当你的孩子发现自己的身体部位时。无论您是决定使用适当的生殖器名称，还是别的东西取决于您。“这些也是分享关于触摸良好而不是那么好的信息的时刻，”McGrath解释道。“这次谈话将根据您孩子的年龄量身定制。与一个年轻的孩子，你可能会说：'你触摸你的____，有时妈妈在洗涤和改变你的时候触动你的____，但这种感动不适用于其他任何人和其他孩子。Your ____ stays in your underwear.’ For tiny people, you are reinforcing the ok-ness of learning, exploring, and personal touch time, while informing them that there are great places to do that and other places where that doesn’t happen.”

隐私和自我触摸。抓住你的孩子和他自己的孩子可能会比你想象的更早发生。McGrath建议重申“愉快是美好的，有些东西可以发现和享受，但最好在他们的个人空间 - 他们的卧室或浴室里完成。虽然这是一个好的事情，它是为了个人私人时间，然后在他们感到安全和准备时，最终是一个同意的伴侣。“这为我们带来了隐私的概念。“加强了这种情况，虽然没有手淫，但是在公共场地上没有发生的事情，有点像撒尿或衣服一样，”McGrath说。If you catch an older kid “in the act,” chances are, embarrassment is going to set in. “You can approach it by revisiting it after that fact and saying any variation of, ‘Hey, I didn’t leave your room because I was upset with you, I wanted you to have some time to yourself for the touch that you were trying. I know you might not want to talk about it, but if you do, I am open and happy to tell you as much or as little as you want to know.’ You also don’t have to lie. If you felt nervous or shocked, you can share that, ‘Hey, I know you saw my shocked face when I left your room, but it was not because I was mad, you’re just growing up and sometimes it takes me a moment to let that sink in.’ Then revisit openness. You are human and you are going to have your natural reactions. Often kids think their parents are mad before they would feel anything else. Letting your kids know you have a diversity of emotions that are not immediately connected to anger can be helpful for them.”

有“谈话”。虽然Sex-ED经常在学校发生在12或13岁的学校，但研究发现，孩子们在8岁开始时吸收准确和清晰的性信息。“作为父母和看护人，您可以根据您的成熟度来决定何时感觉孩子，他们在学校和朋友上有多少接触性信息，以及他们是否正在提出问题，“麦格拉特说。“您也可以在中立的背景下分享一系列信息，因为您的孩子生长，例如，怀孕的朋友可能是谈论婴儿的巨大时刻，包括性交和非性交需要精子。您可以选择一般或专门的情境化性，并且任何选择都不会更好。请记住，您对其的感受将是谈话的一部分，您的孩子们在那些氛围中拾起这些氛围。如果你紧张，请继续解释为什么。当你是一个孩子或者你害怕没有说或做正确的事情时，你可以分享这是一个奇怪的对话，或者你害怕让他们紧张，或者他们不想听到你要说的话。感到尴尬它会让你挑战。考虑您想说的是什么以及您想要分享的信息中心的内容。你希望他们爱上性爱吗？ That you want them to be safe with sex? That you want them to enjoy sex but also connect sex with self loving? That you worry about pregnancy and that overshadows your feelings about pleasure? Share that and share from that place. Again, shame is saying ‘Just don’t do that’ or ‘That’s bad.’ It is not shaming to say, ‘I want to talk to you about sex, but I get nervous, can we start with any questions you might have?’”

性和流行文化。“Modern media is constantly inundating us with images of ‘perfection’ and ‘sexiness,’ and while those images and themes are different for boys, girls, and young people coming to define their gender for themselves, the themes are often limiting, negative, stereotyping, and can make kids feel immense pressure to conform,” says McGrath. “One of the best ways to combat this is to laud our children for aspects of their selves that may seem outside the gender ‘norm.’ We need to reinforce intelligence and strength in our young women, not just beauty and niceness and a ‘get along’ attitude. We need to reinforce softness and emotional growth in our boys and not just strength. We also need to take opportunities to tell our kids that the bodies they have are wonderful just the way they are; that no matter how fast they run, how long and shiny their hair, how skinny they are, or how big their muscles, that they are loved and appreciated. Parents have so much more to deal with in this day and age with phones and laptops and Twitter and Instagram and all the tech gadgetry. To continue to keep up a loving and positive energy and message is necessary and to craft times to talk and connect, eyeball-to-eyeball, rather than over a device, is key.”

少女。它会发生。准备好。“你会有一个自然的反应，没关系，”McGrath说：“但你可以从一个开放的地方来，没有完全关闭它们？青少年将发生性行为。就像手淫一样，我们的身体做出了很好的事情。你想让性爱是有趣和可爱且令人愉快的感觉，但您也希望确保这是安全且同意的和负责任。你可以这么说。您可以这么说，作为父母，您的角色是帮助他们了解性别是什么，也为他们做出最好的选择。我的父母对我说，'性是一件非常精彩的事情，当你觉得准备时，这对你所爱的人来说是最精彩的。“困住了我，我从中夺取了一个自尊的信息，同时保持积极的元素。”