A-lan Holt - Photos and Interview

Mother Stories

Meet Artist, Academic, And Bad-Ass Mama, A-Lan Holt

Written byKatie Hintz-Zambrano

摄影的Photographed byMaria Del Rio

Dec 22, 2016

Appropriate for the holiday and New Year vibes ahead, today we present you with a mother who is all grace and gratitude:A-lan Holt. The multi-facted artist—who recently released her first book of poems,Moonwork—also pulls triple-duty as the Associate Director at theStanford Institute for Diversity in the Arts,andmother to a lively 3-year-old, Indigo. Below she opens the doors to her mountainside home, which she shares with Indigo and a small group of creative roommates, in Woodside, CA. Read on for her incredibly thoughtful words on living an inspired and purpose-fueled life.

: "It was my friend David Geeter who introduced me to this home a little over a year ago. I joked that I wanted to live in a house in the woods and he replied with all seriousness that there was a room available in his. Just off the grid and much out of my comfort zone, Indigo and I moved in the following month. My friends and collaborators live throughout these hills; they are artists, filmmakers, earth scientists. It’s something really special. We’re surrounded by good people."

: "Natural, playful, full of life. We decorate a lot with natural elements: fresh cut flowers, live plants, rocks, moons, stones, and crystals. It's playful with the open windows and aerial silks disguised as drapes hanging in the living room. And full of life because we live in community. This home is full of life, my 3-year-old daughter Indigo makes sure of it. This home feels most gorgeous when it’s activated by loving people."

A-lan wears a shirt by Kiyan Williams and PACT leggings.">: "Decorate with gifts and visions. Most of the art objects in my space are gifts. The other things attempt to envision where I come from, who I am, and what I hope to become."
A-lan wears a shirt byKiyan WilliamsandPACTleggings.

Wangechi Mutu gifted by my friend Erin Christovale and framed for affect. It acts as a vision board of sorts. I hope to be able to invest in a Wangechi Mutu, to grow a Black art collection. For me the takeaway gestures toward stability and longevity, it reminds me too of my friend Alex Fialho who introduced me to contemporary art. My favorite art pieces these days are deeply sentimental."">: "I love this takeaway of a collage byWangechi Mutu我的朋友艾琳Christovale和陷害fo天才r affect. It acts as a vision board of sorts. I hope to be able to invest in a Wangechi Mutu, to grow a Black art collection. For me the takeaway gestures toward stability and longevity, it reminds me too of my friend Alex Fialho who introduced me to contemporary art. My favorite art pieces these days are deeply sentimental."

Inside the home studio.">: "I try and keep it corralled. Indigo has a playroom and she keeps most of her things in there, but I don’t mind her things in various parts of the house. We try and keep it balanced, keyword: try!"
Inside the home studio.

: "Indigo and I share a room in the back of the house. It’s one of my favorite rooms because of the attached garden and deck. We keep it minimal, always have. Co-sleeping is a big part of our lifestyle. One day this will change, but for now sleeping next to each other feels like continued bonding, especially after long work days when we are apart. What I love about this home is that we have such abundance and space, but at the same time we maintain the intimacy of our mid-sized, cozy bedroom. I love our room, it is a reflection of who we are and everything we need."

Stone and Violet. It’s one of my favorites pieces, and it has been a great teaching tool for Indigo. She enjoys the crystals because they are beautiful. I’ve enjoyed teaching her their benefits along the way. Indigo's favorite pieces are the plants. She loves them. She’s named almost all of them!" A-lan wears a Serpent and Bow bralette, Whim by Aree skirt, and J.Crew necklace. Indigo wears an OskKosh sweater dress and tights. ">: "Our crystal collection. It sits in a handmade Moon Phase Shelf byStone and Violet. It’s one of my favorites pieces, and it has been a great teaching tool for Indigo. She enjoys the crystals because they are beautiful. I’ve enjoyed teaching her their benefits along the way. Indigo's favorite pieces are the plants. She loves them. She’s named almost all of them!"
A-lan wears aSerpent and Bowbralette,Whim by Areeskirt, andJ.Crewnecklace. Indigo wears anOskKoshsweater dress and tights.

: "One of the most gracious gifts of motherhood has been learning to perceive pain differently. During labor right before delivery there is this moment called 'transition' where pain is incredibly heightened. Expectant mothers are prepared for this sensitivity, as it often means the child or children are close. Not in classes but in that moment, you learn to use the pain as energy to get that baby out. Pain becomes an opportunity to create momentum. If something becomes increasingly uncomfortable, our creativity begins using that feeling to conjure change. Having experienced a few moments of transition, becoming a mother and then a single mother soon after, unpleasantries have been part of my landscape. What I’ve created with this pain is far greater than the pain itself; it’s stability and happiness and a thriving A-lan Aren and Indigo June."

: "Being a mother is as much about raising your child as it is about raising your own vibration. To be most effective as a mother, I’ve had to uplift the way I eat, they way I love, the way I create my way in this world. I am creating an intimate environment that must support two Black women. This is incredible work."

June Jordan and Lyla June Johnston." ">: "Indigo June Tate is my daughter’s full name. Her father named her Indigo. I was writing a stage play at the time and the main character’s name was Baby Blue. The color blue kept appearing in various ways throughout the pregnancy. Indigo was his expression of that blue and I really adored it. June was the name I gave her, after the poetsJune JordanandLyla June Johnston."

: "The opportunity to raise healthy Black children. I’ve gotten a lot of joy from watching Indigo’s joy. I’m really excited about having a longstanding relationship with a person I helped to create."

Alicia Garza reminds, uniquely, systematically, and savagely targeted by the state. I am nervous when a police officer pulls me over at night while I’m driving alone with my daughter. I am nervous of how violent white supremacy can be for Black women. As I experience more acts of sisterhood, I am learning that we do ourselves a disservice when we don’t believe each other when we say we need help."">: “Anti-Blackness. The way that Black people are, asAlicia Garzareminds, uniquely, systematically, and savagely targeted by the state. I am nervous when a police officer pulls me over at night while I’m driving alone with my daughter. I am nervous of how violent white supremacy can be for Black women. As I experience more acts of sisterhood, I am learning that we do ourselves a disservice when we don’t believe each other when we say we need help."

: "My sister Nigyl Palmer is a really incredible mother of three. Her children love talking to her about everything, even new relationships, and they go in detail. I think that closeness is incredible, beautiful, and something I hope to cultivate."

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Gaskin. It empowered me to give birth naturally and outside of a hospital. The book is full of natural birth stories, which read so gracefully and full of love. It also gives an introduction to contemporary midwifery, which was good for someone like me who wanted to birth natural but knew no women who had done so before." ">: "精神助产学by Ina Gaskin. It empowered me to give birth naturally and outside of a hospital. The book is full of natural birth stories, which read so gracefully and full of love. It also gives an introduction to contemporary midwifery, which was good for someone like me who wanted to birth natural but knew no women who had done so before."

: "If it feels good, ditch the stroller and wear your baby. There was something so comforting about hearing my child’s heartbeat in rhythm with my own while walking down the street in Brooklyn, or while on a hike in Woodside, CA. Wear your baby as much as you can, I think physical closeness is so important."

: "Expanding the notions of what it means to raise a girl. Raising a child that doesn’t feel ashamed or limited by their gender, but playful and uplifted by their ability to care for themselves and others."

: "My parents had a complicated relationship to drugs when I was born, and as a result I was raised in community first by my grandparents and later by my Auntie Karen and Uncle Harry. Between my grandparents and my aunt, I received a private education, traveled when I was young, played piano for quite some time, and held leadership opportunities. Though untraditional and at times charged with emotion, it was a childhood of a lot of investment. My community invested a lot in me and I try really hard to, as my aunt would say, continue doing what I need to do to make good on that investment."

: "I enjoy raising Indigo in community. I am learning to embrace that more and more. But I’m also very proud of being present in my daughter’s life. That means the world to me."

: "Working on a creative project together. Our shoot day was a perfect example. We woke up, spent the morning preparing ourselves and our space, made breakfast together, were playful in front of the camera for a couple of hours with you and Maria, new friends. Indigo enjoys taking photographs even at three. Some of the best photos I have of myself, she took. So, I can only imagine what a creative life might look like for her many years from now."

: "Pomegranates and yogurt. A really hearty chia pudding with fruit, nuts, dates. Sometimes a thick green smoothie. When I'm at home and pressed for time, Indigo often eats better because I can blend leafy greens with frozen fruit and nuts in 5 minutes and she loves it. However, if I'm pressed for time and away from home for long periods of time, I get into the habit of eating out. It rewards short-term satisfaction at the cost of long-term wellness. Not good."

Moonwork.">: A-lan's first book,Moonwork.

: "Do the work of healing yourself. Don’t try and heal anyone else, just focus on healing and listening and trusting and committing to yourself. When I brought my focus back to myself, that’s when I started being able to truly get my house in order."

Stanford Institute for Diversity in the Arts (IDA) where I support student-artists and activists on campus. At IDA we believe that the arts can support vulnerable communities in our efforts to get free; to live full and equitable lives. I teach a course called Conjure and Manifest: Building a Sustainable Artistic Practice that speaks to these ideas, and I help to present programs, along with our Student Fellows, that center artists of color whose work gestures toward justice, process, and wholeness."">: "I work as an artist in the academy. I am the Associate Director at theStanford Institute for Diversity in the Arts (IDA)where I support student-artists and activists on campus. At IDA we believe that the arts can support vulnerable communities in our efforts to get free; to live full and equitable lives. I teach a course called Conjure and Manifest: Building a Sustainable Artistic Practice that speaks to these ideas, and I help to present programs, along with our Student Fellows, that center artists of color whose work gestures toward justice, process, and wholeness."

Moonwork, published by Candor Arts. Moonwork is a collection of poetry, written in real time, that illuminates experiences of early motherhood, womanhood, and the tides of love. If you read Moonwork you’ll know me more intimately. It is a companion to a beautiful indie film I am completing now, called Inamorata, which will premiere in 2017." ">: “我的艺术实践是作为一个剧作家。我写的年代cripts and create work that moves across theater, poetry, and film. My work envisions viable futures for women in spite of trauma. It envisions new possibilities. This year I released my first publication,Moonwork, published by Candor Arts.Moonworkis a collection of poetry, written in real time, that illuminates experiences of early motherhood, womanhood, and the tides of love. If you readMoonworkyou’ll know me more intimately. It is a companion to a beautiful indie film I am completing now, calledInamorata, which will premiere in 2017."

: Indigo's under-the-stairs play space.

: "This is the first moment in my life where the two support each other. I am honored to work with Jeff Chang, who beautifully models how to balance both and create a life. I am honored too that the work I do in both spaces feels harmonious. We are exploring freedom, healing, and creativity in both spaces. We are learning how best to sustain ourselves and our art. As long as I am actively writing or working on a creative project I feel balanced."

: "I grew up in Los Angeles and was a drama kid, basically. I went to Stanford for undergrad, which was a very big achievement championed by my Aunt Antoinette, who encouraged me to apply. In college I studied Playwriting with Cherríe Moraga, though there was no formal program. I studied performance theory and identity politics through the Center for Comparative Studies in Race and Ethnicity. In so many ways my education informs all that I create and encounter. After college in California I moved to New York, was a playwright at the Public Theater, met Indigo’s father, and fell in love while experiencing life as an artist in the city. At the end of 2013 we were evicted from our home in the city, a number of unfortunate events followed, and I returned to California to be closer to my family. I did a lot of healing work in the years that followed. I wrote a lot and those scripts became a book and a film and a couple of plays."

: "It’s just become clearer. Like all the moms I know, I just want to be able to support my daughter and cultivate her joy. It’s simple."

A-lan wears a dress from Anthropologie and a blue agate choker custom made in Oakland. ">: "Motherhood has put me on the fast track toward achieving everything I’ve always wanted in my life. It is my most rigorous assignment yet. It has not derailed my path, it has only defined it. Motherhood has given me clarity, focus, and more stamina. Last year on New Year’s Day I went hiking to the top of a mountain in Big Sur with my girlfriends. Being a mother is like taking that same hike, but with a baby strapped to your back. You’re aware of your steps, more intentional about your route. You're building your muscles. You’re learning to let your sisters help you along the way. Indigo gave me the gift of embodying Creator. I am because she is."
A-lan wears a dress fromAnthropologieand a blue agate choker custom made in Oakland.

Indigo wears an OshKosh dress and leggings. ">: "Continuing to open my heart. Being intimate with myself and really trying to forgive past hurts. Advocating for myself at work, and communicating my needs without guilt or shame. Working hard."
Indigo wears anOshKoshdress and leggings.

: "I do. We travel to Los Angeles where my family lives often, to New York where my best friends are as well. We live among extremely generous people, who are in many ways my tribe. I work with a group of students and colleagues who love me and my daughter. To say we have a good support system is an understatement. Gratitude."

: "That it is truly kid friendly."

Moonwork in the new year. Then my film, Inamorata, will premiere shortly thereafter. I’m also returning to writing in 2017, developing a few new scripts for the stage and screen." ">: "I’ll continue presenting poems fromMoonworkin the new year. Then my film,Inamorata, will premiere shortly thereafter. I’m also returning to writing in 2017, developing a few new scripts for the stage and screen."

: "Femme, natural, a bit bohemian."

Sabina Karlsson have altered visual culture in ways that have made me way more comfortable in my body even as it changes shapes and sizes over short periods of time. Fat and curvy women, in particular, have done so much cultural work and it’s created a shift these last two years. It’s a process of making visible and embracing more bodies like mine. It’s empowering. I am indebted to these women. They’ve made a difference."">: "The times have changed so much since becoming a mother in 2013. The fashion industry with curve models likeSabina Karlssonhave altered visual culture in ways that have made me way more comfortable in my body even as it changes shapes and sizes over short periods of time. Fat and curvy women, in particular, have done so much cultural work and it’s created a shift these last two years. It’s a process of making visible and embracing more bodies like mine. It’s empowering. I am indebted to these women. They’ve made a difference."

Sexy Crocs.' Their name, not mine! I never thought I’d enjoy Crocs, but these are so comfortable, they are easy to pair, and they amplify my California-girl tendencies." ">: "I like pieces that are loose, versatile, and simple. Right now, it’s these flowy, navy blue, wide-legged pants that I sometimes pair with heels or flat sandals. For those who know me, I also love these black 'Sexy Crocs.' Their name, not mine! I never thought I’d enjoy Crocs, but these are so comfortable, they are easy to pair, and they amplify my California-girl tendencies."

Serpent and Bow, whose founder hand-dyes the pieces in her collection with raw indigo and marigold. I also like supporting women of color clothing collections, like Nakimuli, who I brought my first bikini from, and Whim by Aree, who has such fun clothing and accessories." ">: "I’m refining my style more and more. Recently I’ve enjoyed buying from small designers that believe in quality materials and a bit of magic, likeSerpent and Bow, whose founder hand-dyes the pieces in her collection with raw indigo and marigold. I also like supporting women of color clothing collections, likeNakimuli, who I brought my first bikini from, andWhim by Aree, who has such fun clothing and accessories."

apple cider vinegar. I rarely wear makeup and when I do it’s all-natural. I’m not a fan of products, just process. I like to keep things very simple." ">: "I cry often. I laugh and smile just as often! I am a woman of feeling and I try to trust and express my feelings when I feel them. This is the root of my power, strength, and beauty: trusting my feelings enough to let them support and keep me safe. I clean and moisturize my face using raw coconut oil. I deep clean my face and hair using a mixture of bentonite clay andapple cider vinegar. I rarely wear makeup and when I do it’s all-natural. I’m not a fan of products, just process. I like to keep things very simple."

Hilton Als once said, 'If you want to live a life of grace, try living a life of gratitude.' Those words continue to stick with me. It’s the root of my wellness routine."">: "I’m at my best when I am eating more fruits, veggies, and nuts. I'm drinking water and much of it. I’m moving my body. I’m meditating in the morning and saying 'gratitude' throughout the day. I’m writing and creating and able to spend time during the day with Indigo at home. I’m at my center when I say thank you a lot. The culture writerHilton Alsonce said, 'If you want to live a life of grace, try living a life of gratitude.' Those words continue to stick with me. It’s the root of my wellness routine."

: "To continue forward. To find more consistency in the beauty and wellness routines I just described. 2016 was a beautiful year. It was also a trying year that sometimes unhinged me from my rituals and practices. I affirm 2017 as a time of moving forward with more stability, confidence, strength, and consistency. I affirm 2017 and all it has to offer."

AliceAnna dress and vintage sweater. Indigo wears Cat & Jack jeans and a DKNY coat. ">: A-lan, in the outdoor tea house, wears anAliceAnnadress and vintage sweater. Indigo wearsCat & Jackjeans and aDKNYcoat.

: "Raising her between the mountains and a university campus. I really like when Indigo runs around campus or pops up at a lecture. My students love and appreciate it, too. Children are healing and they give you great perspective. Indigo does that for me."

Professor Stephen Shigematsu would say. Controlling spending is and can be a beautiful political act." For more inspiration from A-lan, follow along on Instagram, check out her website.">: “这是非常强大的完善我的消费。它’s been one of the most powerful things I feel I have to do. Like any fast, it reveals my true priorities, it shows the triggers that push me into mindless behavior, and it allows new visions for me to work up to. I dream about a world after capitalism often as an artist. I dream about how powerful it will be to value beings over things, again. I think about that a lot. And saving money as social justice. Saving money as a way of showing concern. Because capitalism is not feminist. Capitalism refuses us the livelihood and dignity of so many brown women and girls. It creates realities like baby formula being locked up in grocery stores so that women will not steal food to feed their children. It creates dysphoria like the Bay Area being the most expensive area to live in in the country, and one of the largest centers for sex trafficking in the country as well. My view on minimalism is tied directly to my view of social justice. It’s about harm reduction. It’s about the transformation of self and systems, asProfessor Stephen Shigematsuwould say. Controlling spending is and can be a beautiful political act."

For more inspiration from A-lan, follow along onInstagram, check out herwebsite.

: Sleepy girl.

: "Indigo loves a park with a good playground, so we try and explore a lot of those in the area. We’ve also been enjoying more hiking here in Woodside. She’s getting into it, it's exciting."

: "I would live outside the U.S. I have no preference right now as to where, but I would welcome the opportunity to live somewhere else."

: "Really expansive. It pushed me in really beautiful ways. It slowed me down. It came with a creative community, which I feared leaving behind in New York. The move also fits where I am in my life socially. After becoming a mother I didn’t feel comfortable hanging in the heavy nightlife of New York City. Here in Woodside we just cook together and enjoy living. Indigo goes to bed, and I can socialize with my community right upstairs. I still visit New York often, which I appreciate. My best friends live there still. It’s good to visit, I’m enjoying this rhythm.”